26 Jan Where Are They Now: Mystique
In what would’ve been Barack H Obama’s final State of the Union address, the event will now have to be re-done after it was revealed that it wasn’t even the 44th U.S president giving the speech. It turns out, the imposter was the mutant assassin Raven Darkhölme aka “Mystique” giving the address. The secret service reported that Mystique attacked them shortly after leaving the Oval office, knocking them all unconscious. She than hopped in the motorcade heading towards the capitol.
Now to be fair to President Obama, the speech that was given was a little strange. Instead of talking about the issues plaguing the country, such as the gun control debate and ISIS, she began talking about mutant rights. Not to diminish the issue, but Mutants are only a tenth, of a tenth, of a TENTH of the world’s population. It was the main and only topic of the State of the Union. Then Obama, or should I say Mystique, screamed out “mutant and proud,” did the dab dance and *dropped the mic* exiting the building. Now this isn’t the first time a sitting President accused Mystique of impersonating them. President Clinton said he was attacked before and it wasn’t him who uttered the words “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Both President Bushs’ have similar claims. President George H. Bush says, he did not utter the infamous broken campaign promise “Read my lips, no more new taxes” And President George W. Bush says he did not authorize the “Mission Accomplished” banner and speech for the Iraq War, given that the war lasted much much longer after that. There’s even rumored CIA files of her impersonating Nixon in the seventies. In an effort to do damage control, the White House announced that the new speech will be given on February 15, 2016, President’s Day. All of this is bizarre to say the least — we’ll see how this current situation pans out.